Monday, June 13, 2011

4 POUNDS DOWN this week....

This is a bitter sweet loss for me. I did turn to my ugly friend Phentermine but I don't think that's what did it. I've been struggling with the relationship between my ex and I and I have been so depressed over it. I loved him so much and he just keeps breaking my heart. Yesterday I made the decision that I can't do it anymore and I am not going to contact him at all. We had a rough 3 years and he is actually a amazing person and I don't think I will ever stop loving him. I miss him every minute of everyday but in doing so I have forgotten to love myself. And truly, I am the only person that can make me happy. I really want to be happy with someone one day but maybe its not today. I definitely have to get back to the old me and enjoy life on my own. I think losing him will give me the motivation to keep losing weight.....when you lose weight weight, you find confidence and nothing feels better than new found confidence. :o)
I have a friend that really wants to get to know me better and I constantly avoid meeting up with him because I feel bad that he is super ripped and in shape and i'm a little chunkster. I think I feel like he shouldn't be attracted to me but he keeps trying.......I think i'll give him a call in a couple of weeks.....he's really hot so I've been reluctant. Oh well, a better day is ahead and i'm looking forward to enjoying every moment life has to offer. It wont be easy, true love is a hard to put aside, and I say put aside because if its true love, it never fades.....and I truly love him. The days of crying on my bathroom floor are still here and they will be for a while but hopefully soon I will be able to say that there is no more sadness and only good times from this day on! 

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Saturday, May 28, 2011

2.1 Pounds down....

Sorry I haven't posted....every time I get a chance...theres was something to stop me. My daughter, the phone and countless electrical storms. Oh well..back to business. I lost a whole 2.1 pounds. Its just a little loss AGAIN but it better than nothing. And even though I say its better than nothing.....I think I'm lying to myself! I wanted to lose at least 5 pounds. I don't know, I guess I have to step it up a little. Maybe I need to hit that elliptical for an extra 20 minutes.........somethings gotta give soon. I'm getting tempted to do a cycle of phentermine. I really hate that stuff but its a fast way to lose weight and losing weight makes me happy. Ugghhh! I think I'm gonna give myself to June 21st to drop another 15, if not, I'm totally turning to my ugly friend Phen. 

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Brazilian Roots.......

I was just sitting around watching re-runs of Family Guy when I got a call from my aunt Sulie. She is my FAVORITE and aunt and my biggest critic when it comes to losing weight. She is part of my moms mothers side of the family which is from Salvador Brazil and she now live in Rio de Janeiro where she teaches at a samba school in the tourist district. Anywho.........she is always asking about my weight and giving me helpful tips, but today was the first day she's ever seen my blog. And she doesn't like it!!! WTF!?! HOLD ON........She's far more shallow than I ever could be and she doesn't like it!! LOL. When I finally asked her why.....she said the girls on my thinspro are too skinny. Okay......she's 53....5'7.....126lbs....and PERFECT! So I didn't understand. She finally explained......and now I question it "SKINNY" that I want to be? What is "SKINNY"? My aunt said something that hit me........"you don't need to be skinny to feel good, you need to look good to feel good because even if you're not skinny, you still can look good".
Now that I think about it.....even when I was 118 pounds......I wasn't skinny. I guess its my Afro-Brazilian root.

I think I'd rather look like this.........
(In shape and sexy)

Than this.......
(Boney and skinny)
Don't get me wrong, I love bones.....just in the right places

NEW THINSPRO...including the beautiful samba dancers of Brazil!!


So......I lost another 1.4 pounds this week. Hopefully this means most of the meds are out of my system and I'm back on track with my weight loss. I only lost 1.4 but I have DEFINITELY noticed my waistline changing. I can see where its starting to slim down and I'm LOVING it! I don't think I'll ever understand the whole "POUNDS vs INCHES" thing but I'll definitely take inches over pounds any day........but I doubt I'll ever see a 175 pound size 2! Lol.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Little loss........

I guess some on the meds are still in my system......AUGHH! I only dropped 2 pounds in this last few weeks. Hey, I guess its better than nothing. But I must admit........I've been going out a lot lately and enjoying myself (its been REALLY nice here in Baltimore). Even though I've only lost 2 pounds.....I can definitely see the difference. I think I'll restart my ECA cycle next week. Summer is almost here (YAY!!) and I cant wait to hit the beach. I bought a new bikini from and I think it gonna be a WHILE before I can wear it! LOL. Thats okay, I have it hanging in my room as THINSPRO! Lol. Maybe I'll hang it in the kitchen. 

Wednesday, April 6, 2011


I finally bought a new computer so I can get make to blogging! Lol. I'm also finished with my thyroid med and didn't gain a single pound!! (YAY ME). So now I'm in the process of moving and I'm totally excited. I bought one of those "Pilates Chairs", I hope it doesn't end up being a complete piece of junk when I get it. LOl. Anyway, I gotta go........I'll let you know how much I lost next week.